Advice and an Introduction to Living Through These Strange Times
Here’s the reality of the situation. I am a 39 year old transman one week away from a hearing in a conservative state to change my name and gender. I’m a former public school teacher and still work for the government, and this week the president of the United States called me and other trans folks radical enemies of the state.
How am I handling it? Moment by moment. Here’s what I’ve been doing.
I got rid of META. I’m not going to tell you what to do or what not to do, BUT I personally can no longer support a Mark Zuckerberg enterprise. Regardless of a divestment, leaving social media has improved my emotional health - even just in two weeks. I was surprised how easy it was to let Facebook and Instagram go.
I stopped shopping at Walmart and Target. Both companies dropped many of their DEI goals. I was particularly upset about Target and went so far as to write a complaint email. Aside from divestment, I’ve really enjoyed shopping at smaller local grocers that tend to be less crowded and employees seem happier.
Replaced Doom Scrolling with Learning. I’m currently on my 42 day streak of learning Spanish with Duolingo and I’ve got a subscription to NYTimes and have been playing the NYTimes games everyday as a replacement for social media. I’m going to be so smart four years from now.
Wrote Congress. I’m going to get really good at writing congress people and organizations. I’ve written to congressman Paul Gosar, about his reaction and support of the President’s January 6th pardons, of course we know that’s landing on deaf ears. I also wrote a positive one to Mark Kelly for his response to Trump. I requested a response from Representative Gosar and declined one on Mark Kelly - Guess which representative actually responded….
Focusing on Gym and Eating Habits. I’ve been going to the gym consistently for the last three years since I started transitioning. It’s a real habit now, it’s actually a life saver in many ways. If I’m having a bad day, when things are particularly weird, the gym is always where I head to clear my head. Eating well has been harder, but being healthy and financially strong as a transperson is a political act - so I’m eating greens and cutting out UberEats.
Checking in on my kids. I stopped teaching for many reasons. It’s one of the hardest jobs one can ever have. I transitioned in front of my kids. Despite my having quit teaching over a year ago, there are many queer and straight youth (both liberal and conservative) who still seek support from me and I enjoy having them in my life. I’ve tried to be as supportive of them as possible. Helping youth helps me feel more in control, and forces me to be an example for someone else, which helps me keep it together.
Continuing Therapy. I love my therapist. I first met here during the first Trump term, when I was struggling with whether I was going to transition, whether I was trans or not. She was with me during really difficult times. I stopped seeing her after I committed to transitioning but recently started seeing her again with issues regarding hypervigilance and anxiety. It’s great to have someone who isn’t a friend or family member to discuss serious issues and also small celebrations with.
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