Navigating Name and Gender Changes

Less than 15 hours before my court hearing to change my name and gender marker, I stumbled upon an article on Them—the Social Security Office had quietly stopped changing gender markers for trans people. The news hit like a punch to the gut. Funny we have to hear about these things through LGBTQ news sites, can't find anything updated on SS page. 

This process has been stressful from the start. I began my name change in October, just before Trump’s election. My doctor, who specializes in LGBTQ care and has prescribed my testosterone for years, guided me through it. She wrote a letter—one she’s written countless times—and advised me to get a court date as soon as possible.

I filled out my local courthouse’s paperwork, paid the $400 fee, and scheduled a judge’s appointment. The earliest available? February 7th. Then came more hoops—my birth certificate, a form signed by my wife (yes, in my state, spouses must consent to their partner’s gender change), and finally, a Teams meeting link for my hearing.

For months, I’d visualized making a passionate plea, something I’m working on not feeling the need to do in therapy. What I didn’t visualize was the sea of faces in that virtual courtroom—many young trans people, clearly there for the same reason.

The judge prioritized non-trans name changes first, shielding those folks from the reality we faced. Then, he called my name. As a former teacher and elder queer, I decided to ask the questions I figured the younger folks might be too scared to.

I asked about conflicts between my state ID and the Social Security Office’s new policy. What about my Texas birth certificate, since Texas refuses changes for trans people? How could I update my driver's license?

His answers:

  • In my state, proof of surgery is required to update a gender marker.
  • Since Texas won’t amend birth certificates for trans folks, my court order would likely be denied.
  • The DMV operates independently, and he had no control over their policies.
  • He had no idea if mismatched IDs would cause issues with Social Security.

So, now I have a legal name change. I’ll wait a week for my paperwork, then try my luck at the DMV. According to their website, my doctor’s letter should be enough to update my gender marker. We’ll see.

I shared why this mattered—not just for me, but for the younger trans folks in the room. I told the judge about driving through Texas, handing over an ID that didn’t match me, and bracing for some stranger’s reaction. About my fear of hostile police officers.

It’s funny. I should be ecstatic today—I took a huge step. And straight people in my life really want to celebrate for me. But I don’t feel happy.

I don’t actually care what my ID or Social Security record says. I know who I am. But here I am, jumping through legal hoops and paying for the privilege of an ounce more safety, all while transphobia is being ramped up to a fever pitch.

And I know I’m one of the lucky ones. I pass easily. But I worry for trans men, trans women, non-binary folks, and androgynous-looking cis queer people—those most at risk from this onslaught.

I’m grateful I transitioned. I just wish we didn’t have to fight so damn hard for something so basic. hours before my court hearing to change my name and gender marker, I stumbled upon an article on Them—the Social Security Office had quietly stopped changing gender markers for trans people. The news hit like a punch

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